Wikipedia tells us a kaleidoscope is

Sketch: Ed Miliband shakes his kaleidoscope

Sketch: Ed Miliband shakes his kaleidoscope

“The kaleidoscope of British politics has been shaken,” Ed Miliband declared. The image of Labour’s new leader swirling around in it is hard to ignore.

By Alex Stevenson

Change has come to Westminster. The kaleidoscope’s tinted colours, blending together and rushing apart as they churn and eddy around, sum up the feel of Britain’s turbulent new politics. Miliband knows this, summing it up with his pithy soundbite in his first press conference as leader of the opposition. The problem is, as he discoursed on the state of play as 2010 draws to a close, he couldn’t avoid painting the picture without including himself.

If only we were in the old politics of 20, 30, 40 years ago, Miliband reminisced, when “party identity was a much stronger thing”. It was easier then. You were either on the left or the right. Now it’s much more complicated. Labour’s leader believes many are worried about the coalition “shifting the gravity of British politics to the right”. He’s even uncertain of his own political starting place. “I am absolutely firmly rooted in the centre ground,” he made clear. “The argument in politics is where the centre ground is.” These beguiling, shifting sands pose a challenge for any party leader. “Who defines the battleground of politics?” he wondered. You do, sir, you and your fellow party leaders! It’s hard for the troops to turn up if they don’t know where the fight’s taking place.

This uncertainty explains a lot about Miliband’s behaviour since stealing the leadership from his elder brother David in September. politics.co.uk has been agonising over his speeches, scratching our heads as we try to work out whether he intends to take his party to the left or keep it in the centre. No wonder we were so confused. With the location of the centre ground not even a fixed point in Miliband’s view, how could he possibly make that call? Following troublemaking shadow chancellor Alan Johnson’s approach to the economy, a “sensible middle course” appears the only way forward. But what does that actually involve?

Miliband showed us today that the solution to kaleidoscope-induced dizziness is to aim your political advances at almost everyone. He has already got into a spot of bother here, being torn apart by John Humphrys as he tried to define the “squeezed middle” of British society in an awkward Today programme appearance last month. That “excellent and successful interview”, Miliband recalled self-deprecatingly, caused such a stink because his broadest definition applied to 88% of the UK’s adult population. Today he took the opportunity to restrict the field to those earning from £16,000 to £50,000. This, it should be noted, still covers an awful lot of people.

Another giddying obstacle is the problem of student protests. There is much to be gained from allying with their cause, but the violence seen last Thursday is potentially toxic. So a rather morose Miliband sought to have it both ways. “What I absolutely abhor and condemn is the violence we saw last Thursday,” he said. Yes, “the law should be brought to bear”, but don’t let that ruin the political opportunities brought about by so much public anger. “You feel it is just the first in an unprecedented attack on the hopes and dreams of the younger generation,” Miliband said understandingly. We can’t expect him to be marching any time soon.

Then came his offer to the Liberal Democrats. “I want to make an offer to the Liberal Democrats,” he stated, aping David Cameron’s advance to the third party after the general election. The idea is to attract left-leaning Lib Dems to the progressive cause. “Many people in that party,” we were told, “are deeply frustrated and even ashamed” by their leaders’ behaviour. Whether it’s social mobility, the economy or even “politics itself”, Lib Dems would be much better off jumping ship.

Party leaders are always happy to accept defectors, but the extent of the inclusiveness proposed by Miliband is eyebrow-raising. Lib Dems who aren’t happy at the idea of defecting are invited to contribute to Labour’s policy review, Miliband suggested. He’s after the “submissions and ideas of Lib Dems who want to contribute”. This raises the absurd prospect of government backbenchers giving handy hints to the opposition on how to do its job. It’s all very well appealing to everyone, but surely trying to win over your political opponents is a step too far?

The contradictions of this approach don’t seem to bother Miliband too much. What about the upcoming Oldham East and Saddleworth by-election, I asked him, where Labour’s new candidate Debbie Abrahams faces a tough fight against – who else – the Lib Dems? “We can fight the Liberal Democrats in elections,” he replied, as if stating the obvious. It would be obvious, of course, if he hadn’t just switched into suitor-mode. “They are in a coalition government. I don’t like the direction they are taking the party in.”

It is not clear whether Miliband is advancing from a position of strength or weakness. One minute he is humble, conceding great tracts of ideological ground. “They were right on some issues in the last parliament – civil liberties, for example, I’ve acknowledged that,” he grovelled at one stage. At other times, he is scornful: remembering Labour’s doomed talks with the Lib Dems after the general election, Miliband referred to right-wing figures like David Laws. “I remember them saying we’re going to go along with faster cuts,” he said sadly.

The Laws name-check helps us make more sense of Miliband’s perspective, in which ordinary sandal-wearing liberals are the repressed victims of the villainous coalition minister sell-outs. By appealing to them he is doing a bit of kaleidoscope-shaking himself. Based on statements made in today’s press conference, we could see Miliband sharing a platform with Nick Clegg on electoral reform, even though the deputy prime minister is in Miliband’s view “difficult to work with”.

Confused? Are red, orange and blue colours flitting before your eyes, making you light-headed and blurring your judgement? Don’t panic. Stay calm. You’ve just had a brief glimpse into Ed Miliband’s world.