By Charlotte Henry
Celebrity Big Brother started once again on Channel 5 last night. I didn't watch, not out of politico snobbery, (as a devoted reader of the National Enquirer I can hardly claim to be above such things,) but out of genuine lack of interest after over a decade of the format.
What we need is a proper shake up of Big Brother. My modest suggestion is a Political Big Brother, which could be relied on to garner roughly two per cent of its current viewer numbers. There are two rules. Housemates have to be current occupants of the red or green benches and Nadine Dorries is banned.
First into the house is Michael Fabricant, MP for Lichfield and deputy chairman of the Conservative party. He is very entertaining on Twitter, and his blonde mop would cause quite a stir. Andrew Mitchell would join him, just so we can see how long it takes him to call Big Brother a 'pleb' whilst in the diary room. The last Conservative in would be Phillip Davies. It seems apt given his continued and public support for CCTV.
Caroline Flint would go in to add some much needed glamour to proceedings, as would Walthamstow MP Stella Creasy. Additionally, if Creasy was victorious she could user her winnings to help some Wonga users pay back their loan. Chris Bryant, no stranger to self-promotion, would feel very comfortable in the PBB house.
John Hemming would be the first Lib Dem in; simply to see what legal injunctions he could break on the live show. Then we would have backbencher Tessa Munt, whose energy and tough attitude would be an asset during the tasks. The final Lib Dem in would be Sarah Teather. Freed from the burdens of ministerial office, she is available to entertain the other housemates with her stand up routines.
From the Lords we would have John Prescott, who would be both funny and spark an audience-grabbing row by eating all the food. After her brilliant turn on Have I Go News For You, Baroness Trumpington is clearly an essential.
Now, don't pretend you wouldn't tune into that every night.
After interning in parliament for Lib Dem MP Don Foster, Charlotte began working with clients to develop their social and web presence, as well as running websites. She has worked with a wide range of commercial, political, and third sector clients, and runs the blog digitalpolitico.net. Charlotte often appears in the media commenting on political issues, and stood for the Lib Dems in the 2012 Greater London Assembly elections. She is @charlotteahenry on Twitter.