FNF: Society still failing our children

Society is still failing our children.

Children's rights to both parents are still not being supported.

In 2004, to mark Father’s Day, the UK charity Families Need Fathers issued a Manifesto. The Manifesto was not for fathers, it was for their children. The objective was to support the rights of children to have both their parents fully involved in their lives. The manifesto, attached to this email, is also available on our website at: http://www.fnf.org.uk/manifesto.htm

It won almost universal support, at the level of words.

Yet two years on that support has remained almost entirely ineffective, at the level of action. Attempts to change the law to ensure a child could not be denied a full and proper relationship with both its parents were defeated. Court orders, to allow a child a relationship with both parents, are still being breached without sanction, and the making of false allegations remains an easy route for one parent to deny their child the right to see the other parent.

Whilst the general belief is that social attitudes are changing, children can still expect their relationship with their non-resident parent to be cut by two thirds. Yet the government Childcare strategy ignores the possibility that children could be looked after better and more cheaply by their other parent.

Society, the State, the Government and the Judiciary are still failing children in possibly the single most important area of their lives - their right to loving care, support and guidance from both their parents.

The rates of divorce and parental separation, sadly, continue their relentless rise. There has been no action to try and reduce this. There has been little action to try and mitigate the effects on children – most notably to ensure that parental separation does not entail the children losing most, or sometimes all, the care, love and support from one of their parents. Every day we see the consequences of this, in the growth of social problems, such as anti-social behaviour, child abuse, binge drinking, getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant too young, poor school performance, and a host of other things. Public policy towards these has emphasised a need for the police or other social agencies to have more power to control society.

A better solution lies in prevention: ensuring that children and young people have more care from their parents. The research shows these social problems are related to two issues above all else - being brought up by one parent and economic disadvantage. The social problems and personal distress could be dramatically reduced by promoting shared parenting. Child poverty would be reduced by shared parenting, which would enable both parents to combine caring for their children and earning.

In the past two years, half a million parental couples have separated, and little support was available to help them and their children. In 2006, it is time to value the role of fathers and shared parenting in securing a better future for our children and our society.

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On Father's Day 2006 'progress' should be reviewed.

The manifesto should perhaps have included another point - those organisations that help Non-residential parents first to get, and then make best use of, adequate parenting time - should be better supported.

There has been progress on this front. Families Need Fathers now has DfES funding for its core services and for the development of its parenting support work.

The Manifesto and progress on it.

1) No child shall be denied a full and proper relationship with both of its parents unless it has been shown that such a relationship presents a risk to the child.

The Lord Chancellor for the Government, and the Conservative Party have acknowledged the problem, but the attempt to change the Law to promote this was defeated.

2) Gender discrimination in social attitudes towards parenting, in policy in relation to the family and the family ‘justice’ system should end.

Social attitudes are changing, albeit slowly, but with negligible support from public policy. Children can expect their relationship with their non-residential parent to be cut by two thirds or more in the event of their parents separating, and this is terribly wrong.

3) The 'winner takes all' nature of legal proceedings about children should end. The objective should become the best blend of both parents. Both parents should be given Residence Orders. Demeaning ‘Contact Orders’ should be replaced by ‘Parenting Time Orders’ given to both parents.

Only very slight change here. No bold action to bring this about.

4) Breach of a court order to allow a child a relationship with both parents should become legally and socially unacceptable.

We welcome the Children and Adoption Bill which could result in changes here, but its possible impact was dramatically undermined by the statement of the President of the Family Division of the High Court saying he did not think judges would use the new sanctions for such breaches.

5) Fathers' involvement with their children is increasing rapidly. This should be welcomed and encouraged until it equals the care provided by mothers.

The Equal Opportunity Commission's research has shown that fathers now provide nearly one third of parental childcare in intact families. This is still a 20% shortfall in our view, but change is rapid. There has been a spontaneous change in social behaviour, but support from public policy has been lacking.

6) No child shall be put in day care or looked after by others if parental care is available.

No progress. The Childcare strategy, a very expensive programme to provide institutionalised daycare for children whose mothers are in paid employment, continues to ignore the possibility that they could be looked after better and more cheaply by their 'other parent'.

7) Legal aid should cease to be available to fuel conflict between parents. Public funding should be available only to seek child centred and non-adversarial solutions to differences between parents.

There have been modest improvements in public finance for mediation services, but the state still funds many parents to seek the exclusion of the other from the children's lives by rubbishing their parenting, character and conduct.

8 )‘Family friendly’ entitlements should be available to both parents equally.

Again slow changes in social attitudes are largely without official backing.

9) Public money to support parenting - Child Benefit, Family Tax credits and the like - should be shared between carers according to the care and costs that fall on each. Child Support Agency calculations should be changed to reflect these costs fairly.

The failure of the CSA has finally been properly recognised. It is possible that a replacement service may be based on fairer principles, but there has been no material action on other benefits.

10) Allegations of violence and abuse should be investigated even-handedly with a thoroughness and speed that reflects their seriousness and urgency. Action should be taken against false or malicious allegations.

No action has been taken on these points. The making of false allegations is still an easy route to prevent a child seeing their 'other parent'.

11) Parental Alienation should be recognised and dealt with.

No progress

12) Funding should cease to agencies that promote gender stereotypes.

No progress

13) Parenting should be given more social respect. The decline in the amount of time children spend with a parent - the cause of many of our social problems - should be reversed with priority going to making the contributions of the parents equal.

No progress

14) The importance of grandparents needs recognition. They should have the right to apply directly for court orders for the children to have time with them.

No pr