Compiled by Cassie Chambers
The Olympics are finally here, and the handing-out of medals will soon begin. To help soothe our bling-envy, this week's twitter round up is all about handing out awards for our favorite category of sport: the political gaffe.
Read on for the gold, silver, and bronze medalists in this soon-to-be Olympic event.
(Hey, now that our office synchronized swimming team has fallen apart we have to hold on to some hope that there's a sport out there for us to participate in.)
The gold: this week's gold medal goes to Mitt Romney, for his ability to cram a truly stunning number of political gaffes into one short diplomatic jaunt across the pond. Between insulting London, praising Anglo-Saxons, and not being able to keep his mouth shut about top-secret meetings, Romney has won the political gaffe competition with a sort of obscene excessiveness only Americans are capable of.
Dear David Cameron: just in case you're taking away Mitt Romney's ticket for the opening ceremony tonight, we'd like to let you know that we are happy to do our civic duty and volunteer to attend in his place. We will even break out our union jack themed socks for the occasion.
The silver: coming in a close second for gaffe-master of the week is George Osborne, whose failed economic policies have created a political storm of daunting intensity. We're not sure if being incompetent at your job counts as a gaffe per se, but we decided to be flexible with this category. After all, the chancellor's had a rough week, and nothing like a second-place finish to cheer you up…or confirm your ever increasing self-doubts about your own adequacy?
So, George Osborne, the chancellor, says he is giving 110%. I think we have one of the reasons for the recession. — Bennett Arron (@BennettArron) July 25, 2012
Why is George Osborne still in his job? I thought he wanted to get rid of underperforming public sector workers. — md lachlan (@mdlachlan) July 25, 2012
Osborne is 110% focused on the economy. 26.4 hours a day, 7.7 days a week, 401.5 days a year. — Alberto Nardelli (@AlbertoNardelli) July 25, 2012
2 years Osborne said the economy would have grown by 5%. The economy has actually shrunk by 0.3%. Yet Osborne says his plan is working. — UK Uncut (@UKuncut) July 25, 2012
George Osborne has blamed, the royal wedding, the weather, the Jubilee., the last governmentbut says it has nothing to do with him. — Noel McGivern (@Good_Beard) July 26, 2012
I would say George Osborne should light the Olympic frame using a £20 note. But it wouldn't even be a metaphor. — Noz (@BeardedGenius) July 27, 2012
In his role as chief strategist for the Tories will George Osborne recommend the Chancellor is removed from post? — Olly Barratt (@ollybarratt) July 25, 2012
Don't worry Mr Osborne: if you get sacked, we hear G4S might still be hiring.
The bronze: Rounding out our top three this week is the British legal system, whose original decision to convict "twitter joke trialee" Paul Chambers we are officially declaring in the "gaffe" category. We would say the twittersphere "blew up" when the decision was reversed today… but it seems like it's still a little too soon to test the waters.
BREAKING: Awkward scenes as Judge in Twitter Joke Trial says he was joking when he acquitted Paul Chambers and thought that was obvious. — Sixth Form Poet (@sixthformpoet) July 27, 2012
The upside of the verdict reversal handed down today: "ridiculous banter" on Twitter is now legally protected. Guess there's more than one reason to drink champagne tonight.
And with that, our first awards ceremony of the Olympics comes to a close. We wish you an enjoyable first few days of Olympic madness. May the gray skies, muttered complaints, and ever-present shambles cause your patriotic streak to burn brightly.