The political week on Twitter: July 16th-20th
Compiled by Cassie Chambers
Ahh, the Olympics. A time for Britons to stand up, take pride, and watch as civil society completely collapses around them.
Games-related shambles and scandals seemed to multiply in a rabbit-like fashion this week, with each disaster breeding ten new subsequent ones.
Our response to the hullabaloo? We've searched the Twittersphere to keep you up-to-date on all of the ways London will fall apart in the coming days.
First on the list of things to collapse is Games security, as scandals about the G4S's ability to provide adequate numbers of staff just keep coming.
What does G4S stand for........Got 4 Staff#Olympics#G4S
— Alison Smith (@alibally11) July 20, 2012
as more troops called up, mandatoryjoke: How many #G4S staff does it take to change a lightbulb? 4 soldiers and a policeman.
— youflaminggalaa (@youflaminggalaa) July 20, 2012
The under pressure boss of G4S is called Nick Buckles. In other news, the headline writers union says "thanks".
— The Media Blog (@TheMediaTweets) July 14, 2012
My theory is Buckles wasn't aware of problems with the Olympics because he was too busy doing his hair. #G4S
— Amandine Alexandre (@AmandinLondon) July 17, 2012
Someone should ask #G4S if they're confident Mr. Buckles will turn up for work on the first day of the Olympics #G4SP45
— Boris Watch (@BorisWatch) July 17, 2012
Perhaps, once he's sacked, Nick Buckles can reapply to #G4S as a security guard & help boost the numbers at the #Olympics. #R4Today
— VauxPopuli (@VauxPopuli) July 14, 2012
G4S's Nick Buckles regrets taking Olympics contract. We regret it too mate. #ffs bbc.in/Mdwv8j
— Kate (@mermayden) July 17, 2012
What's really bothering me about the whole G4S/Olympics thing is Nick Buckles's hair.Too much, too flouncy, etc. (Maybe just jealousy.)
— adam_rose (@adam_rose) July 18, 2012
The man who runs G4S is called Nick Buckles. Last week he was called Nick Holdsupwell, that's how serious this is.
— Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) July 17, 2012
Following his acquittal yesterday, we're pleased to announce that Simon Harwood has secured a postion with the #G4S #Olympics security team.
— Metropolitan Police* (@MetPoliceEvent) July 20, 2012
Among prohibited items at Olympics are "buckles" scr.bi/NrTlEU Wise inclusion: that includes wide-boy CEO of G4S bit.ly/NrTLLK
— john thackara (@johnthackara) July 12, 2012
Then again, we love men in all sorts of uniforms (security, police, military, oh my!) so we're kind of looking forward to this shambles-created schmorgasbord.
Yet not all fashion choices will be welcome at the Games this year, as Lord Coe laid down a pretty strict dress code for would-be attendees. Next on our list of things to fall to the Games was a freedom coveted by all Londoners: the ability to wear any cheesy t-shirt your heart desires.
Fashion advice from Lord Coe: Pepsi t-shirt - No. Nike trainers - Probably. He should have stuck to running - it's lesstaxing on the brain
— dualit89 (@dualit89) July 20, 2012
Lord Coe says you can't wear a Pepsi t-shirt to the Olympics. What about an "I Hate Pepsi" t-shirt? Or the Pepsi logo on fire?
— Chris Coltrane (@chris_coltrane) July 20, 2012
Lord Coe has announced that Mexican waves have been banned at Olympic events as Mexico is not a proud sponsor of London 2012.
— ncguk (@ncguk) July 20, 2012
Oh Lord Coe. You really are a tool of biblical proportions.
— Lee Coombes (@LeeCoombes) July 20, 2012
I think it would be quite proper to tell Lord Coe to take a running jump of that sillyOlympic tower they've built. Telling me what to wear!!
— George Morrall (@GeorgeMorrall) July 20, 2012
BREAKING: Lord Coe approves shoot to kill policy for Army if Steve Ovett turns up at Olympics in Pepsi T Shirt @tompainespirit
— Sir Robin Bogg (@robinbogg) July 20, 2012
Can't go into the Olympics wearing a Pepsi t-shirt? A witticism, Lord Coe, surely! We seem to be confusing sponsorship with censorship.
— Katie Jarvis (@katiejarvis) July 20, 2012
Lord Coe-Cola Speaks for Sponsors guyfawk.es/NmzkWt
— Guido Fawkes (@GuidoFawkes) July 20, 2012
Lord Coe doesn't even know if you can wear Nike trainers to 2012. Best he can say is "probably". Thank god he isn't in charge.
— Simon HB (@norock) July 20, 2012
But then again: love of Wellies + propensity for funny hats =/= Londoners being world renowned for good taste in fashion. Maybe a prescriptive dress code is in the best interest of us all?
Third to fall prey to Olympic-induced crazy was Boris Johnson, who told Londoners today to "stop whining" about the Olympics. Doesn't he realise that complaining is what Britons do best? Aren't leaders supposed to recognise and capitalise on the unique skills of the people they lead?
Boris says stop whining about the Olympics? Someone tell him that complaining when things that cost us £12bn go wrong is called democracy.
— Patrick Strudwick (@PatrickStrud) July 20, 2012
@MayorofLondon Can you confirm that the Olympics opening ceremony will involve you riding a Boris Bike around the stadium? #Askboris
— Luke Phelps (@ThePhelps15) July 20, 2012
Writing in the Sun, Boris Johnson has called on those worrying about the Olympics to "put a sock in it". Why did we reelect him London?!
— Jonathan Haynes (@JonathanHaynes) July 20, 2012
I see Boris has told everyone to "shut up" about the Olympics. Okay Boris, sure thing. #knob
— Kaptain Khaos (@Kaptain_Khaos) July 20, 2012
So Boris has told Londoners to stop moaning about the Olympics. I'm guessing he won't have to endure packed public transport like us.
— Danny(@olderschool) July 20, 2012
Worst thing about living in London pre Olympics is having to listen to Boris on underground #bbctw
— Rachel Martin (@RachelVMartin) July 19, 2012
I'm not complaining about the Olympics, it will be great but if I hear Boris' tube announcement one more time....
— Sinead Burniston (@SineadBurniston) July 20, 2012
Maybe it's time we propose a swap with our great leader: we'll stop complaining if you'll stop making those annoying tube announcements every two minutes.
Then again, there might be another way to halt the dull echo of Boris' voice in the morning: beg/bribe/pay the person who pushes play to abandon his post for a few days. Given that everyone else in civil society will be on strike during the Olympics, we think this is a pretty feasible solution.
TUbe strike, home office strike and roadworks everywhere in olympic month, we welcome you world, in all our britishness
— Adrian Garcia-Miller (@adriangm111) July 20, 2012
British public unions are planning strikes to ruin the Olympics. And here I didn't think I could hate unions any more. telegraph.co.uk/comment/telegr…
— Michael Joyce (@michaelrjoyce) July 20, 2012
Where is the Iron Lady when you need her? U.K. Unions hold Olympic hosts hostage with strike threats: on.wsj.com/MaX7Ed
— Bill Frezza (@BillFrezza) July 20, 2012
Dear BBC, I'm planning to go on strike on Monday unless you pay me a bonus for all the extra Olympic TV I'm going to have to watch!
— Alan (@n13exilegooner) July 20, 2012
It's all becoming a bit French guardian.co.uk/sport/2012/jul…
— louise ashworth (@1louiseashworth) July 20, 2012
East Midlands Trains strike is on when we have Olympic tickets so maybe we won't be able to go...fingers crossed
— Tony Bates (@babblingbates) July 20, 2012
On the PCS strike, if "disrupting the Olympics" is apparently a new form of treason, then Boris should be the first in the dock. #newsnight
— Matt Zarb (@mattzarb) July 19, 2012
At what point does the army threaten to go on strike because their Olympic bonus payment isn't big enough? #partoftheunion
— Nick Lawrence (@_Nick_Lawrence) July 15, 2012
Ed Miliband "condemns" Mark Serwotka, PCS Gen Sec, for Olympic Strike. Ed happily shared a platform with him at Durham Miners Gala last week
— CCHQ Press Office (@RicHolden) July 19, 2012
#itsmadeup Pick pockets to go on strike during #London2012 due to higher workloads and no Olympic bonus.
— Mike Hodges (@Mike__Hodges) July 20, 2012
Hundreds of Olympic volunteers at Heathrow this morning. Could they double up as immigration officers in next week's strike?
— Paul (@tallpaul_j) July 20, 2012
And with that, we rest our case. The Olympics are coming and disaster is about to ensue.
We're off to compile our Olympics survival kit—evidence suggests we're going to need it. We wish you a fun weekend full of your own survival planning. Be careful: It's a (concrete) jungle out there.
And with that, we rest our case. The Olympics are coming and disaster is about to ensue.
We're off to compile our Olympics survival kit—evidence suggests we're going to need it. We wish you a fun weekend full of your own survival planning. Be careful: It's a (concrete) jungle out there.
