The Political Week on Twitter: July 9th-14th

This week was all about the political competition
This week was all about the political competition

Compiled by Cassie Chambers

With the Olympics drawing closer, Westminster has clearly caught the competitive bug. This week saw multiple manifestations of this fighting spirit, including PMQ standoffs, intra-party brawls, and one very bizarre shouting session.

The first competition that popped onto our Twitter radar was the final round of a weekly battle: David Cameron v Ed Milliband in PMQs. This week's session saw the two sides hurl insults, lose tempers, and generally behave like secondary school students. So who came out on top of this very mature, ministerial debate?

We're declaring this fight a draw.

But with PMQs out for the summer, what will we do for a tie-breaker? We suggest our personal favourite dispute-settling technique: mud wrestling. (Might be a nice change from their usual mud-slinging?)

Although the Cameron-Miliband competition was supposed to be the main event at the final PMQs, the limelight was stolen by an unlikely side-show: Anne Marie Morris. Although who she was fighting and/or why wasn't exactly clear, we're going to use the honourable lady's wild gesticulations and indignant howl as conclusive evidence she was victorious. With attack moves like that, how could she not be?

We're definitely putting our money on Morris in future fights. We're also writing a letter to the British Olympics committee recommending she be put on the UK's Greco-Roman wrestling team (yes, that is a real sport).

But perhaps the most surprising fight to break out this week was between Cameron and his own party. Clearly, the competitive atmosphere has got a little out of hand in parliament, as parties are now brawling amongst themselves. As if there weren't enough Tory-Labour disputes to go around.

It appears that Cameron was able to win this fight by just a hair on his rapidly balding head. He may not be so lucky with Lords Reform next time round—maybe it's time to invest in some Rogaine just to be safe?

The final competition we're covering this week is the ongoing battle between bankers and politicians. And bankers and the public. And bankers and pretty much everyone.

Maybe it's time to jump inside your safe, Barclays employees – this might be one fight you don't want any part of. Make sure to take plenty of packets of crisps - we predict this scandal isn't going away anytime soon.

With parliament all but out for the summer, it looks like the Olympics will arrive just in time to ensure you meet your outrageous-scuffle daily requirements. Personally, we recommend a healthy dose of synchronised swimming and rhythmic gymnastics to fill in for the political competition withdrawal.

Best of luck.

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