Compiled by Cassie Chambers
A loss of memory is spreading like wildfire among Britain top institutions and individuals this week.
First to succumb to the mysterious illness was prime minister David Cameron. Ways his condition manifested itself? Forgetting both his daughter and convenient details.
See how Cameron left daughter in pub. Terrible memory. Can't recall much about meetings with both Murochs, Brooks etc #leveson— Kevin Maguire (@Kevin_Maguire) June 14, 2012
When David Cameron says "We're all in this together", he's clearly not talking about the family Range Rover on the way home from the pub.— sickipediabot (@sickipediabot) June 11, 2012
David Cameron has said he's going to the pub tonight to watch England vs Sweden - his daughter has packed a book and some colouring pencils.— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) June 15, 2012
David Cameron drove off to Chequers before realising he'd left his 8-year-old daughter in the pub. Another U-turn from the PM then #satire— Alex Richman (@alexrichman) June 11, 2012
If people make this much noise about the child David Cameron left in a pub, I can't wait 'til they notice the timebomb he left in the NHS.— HeardinLondon (@HeardinLondon) June 11, 2012
Apparently Rebekah Brooks once left David Cameron in a pub all on his own for nearly 15 minutes and had to go back and get him #leveson— Katy Brand (@KatyFBrand) June 14, 2012
Next on the list of forgetful folks is the Labour party, whose infighting over GMB and Progress forces us to question if they've forgotten the golden rule: if you can't say something nice, better keep your mouth shut.
I'm a GMB member, labour member, and Progress member. So democratically, I've decided to investigate myself and may expel me from myself.— Hopi Sen (@hopisen) June 11, 2012
GMB would ‘effectively outlaw Progress as a part of the Labour party’. The capital 'P' is probably superfluous.— Eleanor (@elliesharman) June 15, 2012
Is this GMB outlawing Progress a wind up? Did they announce this wearing Politburo uniforms and novelty Stalin moustaches?— Kenneth Fleming (@Kennyf1283) June 11, 2012
Then again, we love a good family feud, so maybe we can overlook this memory slip.
Third up on our list is the school council that banned a nine-year-old's meal blog. Surely someone told them that censoring school kids is bad for PR? At least the response from the twittersphere makes us pretty sure they won't forget this basic lesson again anytime soon.
I love the fact a 9 year old is essentially bringing a local authority to its knees. Makes you proud to be British. #neverseconds— James Shaddock (@jpshaddock) June 15, 2012
Think prayer is a cure for this widespread condition? Think again. Even the Church of England isn’t immune from the epidemic, as this tweet pointed out.
Wait, gay marriage might lead to the disestablishment of the Church of England? They say that like it's a bad thing.— Tom Morris (@tommorris) June 11, 2012
Christian gay marriage is threatening to Christianity. Straight atheist marriage is fine. No, you're going to have to explainthis again.— Kate Bielby (@KateBielby) June 12, 2012
Gay people aren't destroying the sanctity of marriage. Kim Kardashian is.— American Humor (@AmericanHumor) June 11, 2012
Gay marriage would 'hollow out' the meaning of marriage. This, from the CoE,that was created so a king could divorce & kill his wife.— Tiernan Douieb (@TiernanDouieb) June 12, 2012
The Church Of England reckon gay marriage will create an unhealthy society. I think archaic bigotry might be more of a concern, personally.— Aidan John Moffat (@AidanJohnMoffat) June 12, 2012
So there you go: proof of a mysterious memory-eating illness among Britian's leadership. We certainly hope it's not contagious. In the meantime, we're donning protective gloves and face masks before going anywhere near politics this weekend.