Solidarity, Reg!

Sketch: The Great EU Referendum Rebellion

Sketch: The Great EU Referendum Rebellion

All three parties ordered their MPs to vote against an EU referendum – despite the fact that polls show the public want a vote. The result? A very odd, thoroughly ridiculous, debate.

By Alex Stevenson

It seems bizarre, doesn't it? Political parties are supposed to try to win people over by reflecting their opinions. Tony Blair seemed to have grasped that insight fairly early in his career. How strange, then, that in this particular democracy the Liberal Democrats, Labour and the Conservatives all wanted their MPs to reject calls for an EU referendum.

Labour's decision to back the prime minister in opposing a Commons motion calling for a referendum meant there was not a chance that the government would be defeated. So this became all about the extent to which Cameron would be able to impose discipline on his party. "We always knew this was not going to be easy," one No 10 insider said this afternoon.

Fortunately, Conservatives are very experienced at disagreeing with each other over Europe. They have developed the subtle art of papering over their differences to a tee. The casual observer might even think they like each other.

Take a senior Tory backbencher, Bernard Jenkin, who very politely complimented the prime minister for the "constructive tone" in which he had dealt with rebels. Cameron, all courtesy and grace, gave a dainty little nod of the head in response. The Tories are so well-practised at disagreeing on Europe they dance around each other with all the courtly repose of quadrille. You have to look closer, at their twitching eyebrows, their curling lips, to understand the reality of the situation.

First Cameron and then William Hague painstakingly made the case for the government, which is refusing to allow a referendum on the European Union.

There were occasional flare-ups, especially among Tory MPs lashing out at their coalition colleagues. Anne Main ripped the Lib Dems to shreds for once promising a referendum on the Lisbon treaty. Philip Davies called Nick Clegg's party "charlatans" for their pro-EU attitude. This seemed odd, for there is no real difference between the Lib Dem and Tory ministers who will march through the lobbies later this evening. Both think the eurozone crisis has left the EU wobbly enough, thank you very much. The difference is that angry Tories feel safer attacking them.

The most emotional speeches, predictably, were those of the pair of ministerial aides who had decided to quit their jobs in order to back the motion. Adam Holloway said he was "staggered" that loyal people like me are being put in this position". Stewart Jackson was more forceful as he vowed to take "the consequences" of his decision. "I need no lectures on loyalty from some people," he hissed.

But the most intense speech came from Bill Cash, a veteran eurosceptic Tory curmudgeon who spends every waking thought obsessed with the EU. Earlier he had spat contempt at Cameron, shaking his head at the prime minister's answer to his question. A few hours later he was up on his feet once again, stabbing the eurofriendly air with his eurosceptic fingers. "It's the EU, stupid!" he yelled. That was the name of the pamphlet he wrote for the prime minister on the topic. His only kindly words came as he gave advice to wavering would-be rebels. "Whips' hectoring," he said in an avuncular tone, "is something that you have just got to get used to."

Not all were so defiant. A number of Conservatives explained that they were very much eurosceptic – don't get them wrong, guv – but they couldn't quite stretch to this one. Some, like Graham Stuart, explained about being "over-whipped", even though they were backing the government. Another, Glyn Davies, said he had once taken an egg in the back of the head on an anti-EU rally. Don't question his eurosceptic credentials!

In the event, so it turned out, there were 111 rebels, 80-odd of them Conservative. That's a pretty sizeable rebellion, but – as Cameron will be aware – it could have been much worse. His relief will be mingled by a troubling concern: the Europe issue is not going to go away in a hurry.