Sketch: The ultimate expenses whinge
MPs couldn’t hold in their expenses frustrations any longer, indulging in an orgy of whining and whingeing as they turned against the watchdog tasked with keeping them in check.
Expenses simply hasn’t gone away. It’s the political disaster story that just keeps on giving.
The series of botched attempts at moving on from the scandals of 2009 have had one thing in common: utter failure. Now MPs, faced with coping with the new system, have thrown caution to the wind.
Never before has partisanship been so utterly discarded. Party allegiance was left at the door as Labour, Conservative and Liberal Democrat MPs trooped into the grand committee room. Usually the Commons’ spillover chamber is usually near-deserted. This morning it was full of tetchy, angry, fed up politicians.
“It’s indefensible!” David Winnick, who had secured the adjournment debate, spluttered and thumped his way through a cantankerous speech of monumentally grumpy proportions. His attack on the Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority (Ipsa), whose miserable implementation of the new allowances system has so ruffled MPs’ feathers, didn’t hold back. They had set up a “pitiful” system.
These were not the ravings of a lone individual, for Winnick was interrupted on countless occasions by MPs determined to agree. Their gripes were seemingly endless.
Emily Thornberry was appalled that “not one thought” appeared to have been given to London MPs. Another revealed he had experienced a “glitch” showing him the claims of another MP. Angela E Smith complained that Ipsa had “totally overlooked” maternity leave. Former deputy leader of the House Helen Goodman accused Ipsa of behaving “above the law” because it removed travel allowances for spouses when MPs’ children reached the age of six. Tory grandee Sir John Stanley lamented the loss of parliamentary privilege through the demise of “freedom of obstruction”. Jim Sheridan, a great friend of the Speaker, called the reduction in staffing budgets “totally unacceptable”.
You get the point. It went on and on and on and on.
It was a mark of the fevered atmosphere that Dennis Skinner’s remarks, usually the crackling highlight of a parliamentary session, appeared relatively downbeat. He too was moaning about breaches of security. “This system will end in tears if we’re not careful,” he quavered, wagging his finger defiantly.
As often happens when politicians get carried away, the attacks against their target extended well beyond the initial grievance. MPs are utterly fed up with the trappings of Ipsa as well as its own job. Winnick pointed out the chairman of Ipsa, Sir Ian Kennedy, “receives £700 a day – plus expenses!”
And Liberal Democrat Bob Russell was appalled by the “luxury” of the regulator’s offices. “The work they do they could easily do from an industrial estate in Romford,” he suggested, more resentfully than helpfully.
Ann Clwyd had a “shocking” announcement to make. “I’m getting to the point… I would not have come back into this parliament. I would not have returned,” she said, the tears rolling down her face as she nodded sadly.
Actually, that’s not true. She managed to hold herself together, which was just as well as it meant we were treated to her insisting: “We are not whingeing MPs.” The accuracy of that statement, dear reader, we shall leave to you.
